We have an expression in Australia that we sometimes use when we're feeling rather overwhelmed; and when I finished reading a certain article about the chances of women finding men after a certain age, I was left trembling with apprehension. As I clutched the newspaper to my breast and shakily boarded the train on the way home from work the other day, I said to myself: "How much can a koala bear?"
On the train, I re-read the by now crumpled paper so I could take things in once more, this time sitting down. A flashback to the movie Sleepless in Seattle brought back the comment made to the Meg Ryan character that "A woman has a much higher chance of being killed in a terrorist attack than getting married after the age of forty."
Well, I have news for you, sisters! The age has now dropped dramatically since they filmed that movie. This explains my downing a valium when I arrived home and making myself a huge bowl of pasta with pesto (my favourite comfort food) so I could get over the shock of what I had learned.
The following comes from a regular column in the mX newspaper (courtesy of City Rail) written by Emma Merkas. WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!
Never mind 40! Bloody hell--they are now saying if we don't land a man by 29 we're done for! What are the freakin' chances for us to do that if we're older chicks past a certain age? As we fondly say in Australia: "Buckleys and none". This is how much of a chance we have of landing a man past the age of 29, 30, 35, 40, and so on. So our mission is not just impossible; it's friggin' IMPOSSIBLE!
Therefore, with heartfelt sympathy and condolences to my older, wiser, and sometimes dumped sisters out there, bring on the terrorists! In fact, I think we have a much better chance of capturing a whole terrorist organisation and bringing them to justice while winning millions on Lotto three times in a row, and having George Clooney and Clint Eastwood in a bidding war for the film option to one of our novels (this last one is for my literary sisters), than landing a man who is decent, faithful, loving and considerate. Oh, fudge! Forget the last bit and simply make it ANY man!
Okay, I'm off to find a mining town now where women are few and men are desperate :-)
Author Sylvia Massara's: