Picture
I was watching First Wives Club last night and I thought that women just can't win when it comes to the "unfair sex", as I call men. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, the storyline is about three 40-something women who've helped their husbands in various ways while they were married; be that to build their business, their career, or bear their children; and then, when life should be sweet, these bastard men dump their wives for younger women.

I really love the part Goldie Hawn plays--she's a 45-year-old actress, begging her plastic surgeon to inject her lips with botox. The doctor tells her that she looks fantastic as she is, and that she should be happy being her age. Goldie replies: "There are three ages in Hollywood: 'Babe', 'District Attorney' and 'Driving Miss Daisy'; now, fill them up!" (She orders the doctor to inject her lips). Later, she's so depressed because she was asked to play the role of a mother in a movie, instead of that of the young protagonist, that she's at a bar getting drunk and talking to Maurice, the bartender. She says to him in tears: "They want me to play Monique's mother, Maurice. Let me ask you, is this the face of a mother?" The bartender says no, at least not his mother's. Then Goldie goes on: "Angela Lansbury is Monique's mother; Shelley Winters is Monique's mother; Sean Connery is Monique's mother..." At this point, Maurice becomes concerned and tells her he'll get her some coffee. But Goldie declines and replies: "No, forget that, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend--he's 300 and still a stud!"

So what is the message here? That women in their prime (40s an 50s) are being dumped by men after they've been used up. After men have had children by their wives, or built their careers through them, or been introduced to all the right people and climbed their way to the top; suddenly, their wives become a drag. A man, even if he's as old as Sean Connery, has to be seen with a younger woman. Look at the film "Entrapment" where Sean Connery plays a master thief in his 60s, opposite a 30-something Catherine Zeta-Jones! I mean, come on! But this goes back to the days of old, so no wonder older modern women haven't got a chance.

Let's look at some old movies that have set us on the road to perdition. Sabrina--a 22-year-old Audrey Hepburn falling for a late 40s or early 50s Humphrey Bogart; Rebecca, a 20-something Joan Fontaine falling for a 40-something Laurence Olivier, and the list goes on!

But let us also look at real life in the old days of say, Jane Austen, and even hundreds of years prior to this. Young girls of 16, 17, and sometimes even younger, were married off to old guys in their 40s, 50s and beyond. Unfortunately, not much seems to have changed in this so-called age of liberated and independent women. We may not be forced to marry an old codger, but old codgers are still ending up with younger women--and they don't necessarily have to be rich or celebs either!

We may have won the right to vote, we may be breaking through the glass ceiling in the corporate world (though at a slow rate), but one thing we cannot change is this: as men grow older, they are called distinguished and no-one seems to bat an eyelid if he's sporting a 22-year-old on his arm. As women grow older, we are called hags, has-beens, used up, dried up, etc, etc, ad infinitum. And God forbid if we decided to go out with a younger man! Even Demi Moore lost her young beau (or so I heard).

Unfortunately, this is the way in modern society, and I don't think it's going to change any time soon. Moreover, it isn't only reflected in real life and films, but also in literature. Look at chick-lit. I've been reading hundreds of comments in blogs and in Facebook from women who say they cannot find a decent romance with a protagonist older than 30! (And even 30 is a bit too long in the tooth these days). But now we have "hen-lit", though not as widely known as chick-lit. Having said this, I believe that this genre is an emerging trend, as women from the baby-boomer period (those born between 1945-1964) are at the peak of their earning power, hence they tend to set the trends. 

So, we might be dumped for a younger woman, though we helped our spouses to greater heights, (yes, behind every great man there is an even greater woman); we might be looked upon by our younger sisters as having passed the "use by" date; younger men might want to shag us for the experience (after all, our younger sisters couldn't hold a candle to our sexual expertise), but the young men will sooner or later flock to the babes, along with the older, middle-aged men who've dumped their wives.  But I have to say that through all this, we remain strong and independent; we have clarity and focus, we know what we want and we are doing it for ourselves (as the song says). Whereas the men who've dumped us are still wading in their pathetic pool of self-pity, trying to find themselves. And you know what? Eventually, they'll be dumped by the "babes" because they won't be able to keep up. So what will you do when your ex comes knocking at your door to tell you he was wrong to leave you?

I know what I would do. As Diane Keaton tells her ex, who wanted to come back to her, in First Wives Club; she simply says: "drop dead."
10 Comments
 
 
Picture
Okay, this is really spooky. It seems that every time I write a novel I am either on the way to fulfilling some kind of unknown or subconscious prophecy, or my life changes in such a way that I start to become like the main character in my novel.

For instance, when I wrote the romantic comedy, The Other Boyfriend (TOB), in 2010, there were certain elements in the story that at the time were mainly fiction but partly based on an old ex-boyfriend. But lo and behold, within months of publishing TOB my marriage broke up and I discovered in my ex-husband aspects of the lying, cheating and thieving person he turned out to be--and which he shared with one of the characters in TOB! Ironically, when I started my first draft of TOB, I hadn't even met my now ex-husband. Yes, I started working on TOB about a year before I met him!

Now, I have just finished writing Playing With The Bad Boys--A Mia Ferrari Mystery; and suddenly, I've started to become more like her: confident, sassy, doesn't suffer fools gladly, assertive, strong, and a whole lot more. Well, I've always possessed these personality traits, but now they have become a lot more pronounced. And what's really strange is that Mia Ferrari works for a hotel group and this is where she stumbles upon her mysteries. Now, only this week, I have started consulting for a hotel group! You see, my bread and butter comes from consulting (this is until I become famous like JKRowling. LOL), and in between my consulting I write.

One of my present clients is a wholesaler and I have been consulting to them for 20 months. But as soon as I finished writing Mia's first mystery I landed my second client, and sure enough, like Mia, I will be working within a group of hotels Australia-wide. So how's that for spooky? I only hope that when I start consulting this coming week I won't stumple upon a dead body, like Mia does in her first mystery!

I know that writers draw from their life experience, but it all starts to get a little weird when something I write about ends up happening in my life at a later stage. On the upside, this sets me to thinking that I should write about winning Lotto! Hmm. Food for thought.
6 Comments
 
 
Picture
Wow! I am honoured and humbled that my novel "The Soul Bearers" has not only been getting some rave reviews, but has now made it to Editor's Choice on the Breakthrough Bookstore!

I worked long and hard on this novel, which started out by being a screenplay in 1997, and which I adapted into a novel in 2000. After counteless drafts and having worked on it for 13 years, it's fantastic to see that it's getting such wonderful reviews and the recognition it deserves!

Now I'm waiting for Robert Redford or George Clooney to come along and buy the film rights to it :-)
2 Comments
 
 
Picture
Another great review came in today for my novel The Soul Bearers by Maria Snell, blogger and book reviewer. Her blog is called "Flair".

This is what Maria said about my novel:

The Soul Bearers by Sylvia Massara is an absolute triumph! This is the story we  all wish we could write! It is one of the most deep soul touching, more profound  novels I have ever read. The depth of the despair and love that  these three  characters feel is unequaled to anything I have ever experienced
through a book.  This is a story of love and loss, of rejection and acceptance,
of life and  death, of hope and rebirth. You will cry your eyes out - it was a
deeply  cathartic read for me. Beautifully written, with characters that will get under  your skin and you will embrace, with a depth of humanity unparalleled
to any  other book I have read, poetic and raw at the same time. Hope; hope is
the word  that defines this book: hope in spite of certain death, hope in spite
of  rejection and abuse, hope resulting from true unconditional love. Hope that  heals, hope that forgives, hope that is the way to rebirth. Love as the only important thing worth living for. Alex will find love - both spiritual and   physical - through the love shared by Steve and Matthew, a love that will grow   to embrace her too and help her exorcise the demons of her very abusive  childhood. And healing will come on the wings of a butterfly.

This book is a definite MUST READ. No holds barred, no caveats. This book will show you pure, unadulterated love and hope through tears and loss.
 
Sylvia Says: Thank you, Maria, for your candid review of my novel. By the way, this review was not solicited. Maria asked for a copy of the book to review, and knowing she's an excellent reviewer, I sent her a copy hoping she would like it. Well, she did, and she's made my day! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

AND here's a peek at my book trailer:
4 Comments
 
 
Picture
New Year’s resolution: Find a man who embodies the qualities that I have within myself.
 
After the recent breakup of my marriage with my very nasty,
cheating and lying ex-husband, I have now promised myself that unless I find a man in future who has these qualities I so prize in myself: strength, courage, kindness, supportive, loyal, honest, generous, honourable, forgiving, loving, compassionate, and empathetic; I would rather be alone.
 
I am done with pandering to the selfish, the self-centered, the dream-robbers, the emotionally-stunted, the cheats, the liars and the thieves! Yes, and this describes my ex right down to a T.
 
It's a tall order, don't you think, to be able to find a man like the one I want? So I have a feeling that I will be single for a loooooooooooooong time to come. But you know what they say: “Better to be alone than in bad company.”

CUT TO MUSIC FROM SERIES OF  "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE"

We then hear the following:

"SYLVIA, YOUR MISSION, IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, IS TO FIND SUCH A MAN. THIS BLOG WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS."

2 Comments
 
 
Picture
I am honoured to announce that I have been chosen to receive the Versatile Blogger Award by author and colleague Sandy Wolters, who runs a great blog called "Sandy's Spotlight", where she reviews books and  interviews authors.

As a "versatile  blogger" I'm supposed to share 7 things about me; so here they are:

1. I am a multi-genre novelist, and I love it!
2. I mean to  go and live "under the Tuscan sun" one day
3. I miss my mum, who passed away in 2007  :-(
4. I am starting my life afresh,  since my hubby left me in early 2011 for a
floozy
5. Like my new, soon-to-be-released mystery series  featuring, Mia Ferrari, a tough late 40s, wiseass chick investigator, I am now a  tough chick myself and anyone who messes with me is going to regret it.  LOL.
6. I love  cappuccinos
7. I could eat pizza  every day of the week and twice on Sundays :-)

I am to pass this award onto 5 other people whom I  consider to be Versatile Bloggers; their blogs are:

Tongue of Dog's Breakfast - a comic blog about politics and  other life issues, run by US-turned-Canadian author, Nicole Chardenet and her  evil henchkitty, Belladonna.
Aobibliosphere - great blogger and book reviewer  extraordinaire!
A Word Please - fabulous mystery author and avid supporter of  indie-authors, Darcia Helle 
Famous Five Plus -  a blog run by author Pauline Barclay about authors and books whose protagonists  are in their 50s (I just slipped into this one even though my protagonists are  in their 40s. Woo hoo!)
Madame Perry's  Salon - a blog where authors and artists meet (as they did in centuries  past), run by super extraordinaire publicist, Jennifer Perry.
2 Comments
 
I am woman! 11/26/2011
 
Picture
Girls, you will be proud of me. Today, the ex came by to collect the last of  his belongings. I now live in the apartment across the hallway, and didn't want to run into him. But then, I had a "Bette Davis" moment, and thought "Don't be a sissy". 

So, I ventured out, wearing slim-fitting black pants, a body hugging T-shirt, and black sunnies. I worked those hips like "Pretty Woman" and looked like my new protagonist, Mia Ferrari. He looked shocked to see me and was tongue-tied; I was cool, baby.

I said: "So, I see you sold the bedroom suite on ebay." He stammered
something I can't remember. I said: "You've put on a lot of weight"; he said something about working hard. I said: "Oh, I bet." And then, cool as a cucumber, I walked past him and said "Goodbye".

The other woman can have him. Yuh! He's got a spare tyre now and was quite chunky. I felt so good about this because I looked svelte and gorgeous. His new sex life must be boring. LOL. Let me assure you that he never looked like that when he was with me.

I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :-)
6 Comments
 
 
Picture
This morning I woke up, feeling down in the dumps: my marriage broke up recently; I am about to move homes, as we had to sell our matrimonial home; in the next few months, I will be facing a legal battle with the ex... well, you get the picture.

I was feeling sorry for myself and wondering why life has to be so difficult at times. Anyway, I made myself a coffee (coffee always helps to hold misery at bay, especially if you're a writer. LOL), and then I switched on my computer to check my emails, and I found this lovely, wonderful message from an author who apparently read my book "The Soul Bearers". This was not a "giveaway" copy or a solicited review at all; this came from the reader's own experience after she read my book (which I assume she must have purchased). The double bonus is that she's an author herself--and I know that we authors make the hardest critics. Therefore, I am honoured, thrilled and grateful to have received this review. It certainly made my day--and made the last 13 years that I spent working on this novel worth every minute of it (yes, it took that long because I went crazy with drafts and edits and more edits. Hehehehe).

So here is what author, Gloria Antypowic, had to say:

"Sylvia--I just finished "The Soul Bearers" last night. This book really touched my heart--and I want to hug you. It truly is "a story about great human courage and unconditional love in the face of adversity". It is controversial subject matter, but real life for many in this world. I think this is one of those stories that needs to be read. It is a wonderful book that should make people think about how circumstance, judgement, betrayal, deep friendship and unconditional love and great human courage can affect lives. I have a wonderful daughter-in-law who I am going to buy this book in paperback for; she will feel the same way I do about it and she will share it with many. I did leave a review on Amazon for your book. Thank you for your work."

When a writer gets wonderful feedback like this, it certainly makes the months or years we spend toiling over a book worth every second.

I wrote back to Gloria, and informed her that The Soul Bearers is not out in paperback format yet, but if her daughter-in-law wants to read it, I'll be happy to give her a complimentary copy through Smashwords and she can download it to her computer, if she doesn't have an e-reader.

Well, thanks to Gloria, I am now going to have a wonderful day! :-)
 
4 Comments
 
 
She's smart, sexy, sassy and a wise-ass. She loves pizza, younger men and Ferrari cars. She can't resist solving mysteries, and undoubtedly gets herself into trouble. She's in her late 40s, but hey, that's the new 30s, right?
7 Comments
 
 
Picture
Some of you have been following the drama of my recent marriage breakup. Well, I have good news! My writing has proved so carthatic on this subject, that a few days ago I woke up and thought to myself "I'm over it".

Interestingly, to this day, the ex still cannot, and will not, admit that he committed infidelity.

The thing is, I really don't give a rats what he thinks anymore. So I would like to close off the last seven years of that relationship with one tiny message for the ex--this is before I go back to being myself, and that is: WICKED AND LOVING IT!

Living in DENIAL, as he has done for years now, is his problem, not mine. Therefore, I leave him with this little tidbit of wisdom, and may he "see the light" one day. 
4 Comments