 Do you live between three worlds? It is a well-known fact that most authors live vicariously through their characters. I’m not sure if this is true for all of them, but I believe authors need to live “in character” at some stage if their work is to be of quality. In fact, I’ll take this a step further and propose that many of us (author or not) live between three worlds: 1. Reality 2. In character 3. Vicariously Let’s take a closer look: Reality What’s reality, anyway? What if we’re figments of someone else’s imagination, and we’re fooling ourselves that our lives are real? After all, as Mr William Shakespeare suggests in his play “As You Like It”: All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts...
Therefore, what you perceive to be real may not be real. But no matter how you perceive your reality, certain things are inescapable: birth, death, taxes, paying bills, making a living, illness, the whole myriad of human emotions, and whatever else fits into what we perceive as living "the human condition". In character Now, this is where things begin to get interesting for authors (and for anyone with an imagination). As with “method actors”, we also have “method writers”. So we often find ourselves coming across to others as the characters we write about and those we identify with. This often puzzles the people who think they know us, but it’s a fact that many of us “step into character” at some stage or other in our lives in order to take a break from our reality.  What character shall I play today? So people who interact with us may think we’re simply “just another creative soul” or an absolute fruitcake. For me, I step in and out of character at a moment’s notice between my many protagonists; and this always crosses into my reality so that people are not sure who they’re dealing with. I could be Mia Ferrari one minute, a smartarse-doesn’t-suffer-fools-gladly chick with a liking for younger men and solving mysteries, only to turn into Cat Ryan the next minute, an online-dating blogger with a love of antiques (not antique men, but antique furniture and art); then, on to Sarah Jamison, a Bridget Jones-type that comes up with madcap ideas to get a real man; and finally, to Carla Fiori, who is the love interest of David Bowie (while he’s in character as Rhys Lewis) in my latest novel, The Stranger, a sci-fi apocalyptic romance.  I'm not a fruitcake; just call me "Sybil" Vicariously And this is where it starts to get really spooky! Not only do some writers live in character at times, but often we simply decide to take off from reality for a major part of our time, and we live vicariously through all our characters and the situations in which they find themselves. For me, this is addictive, and I often find myself in this world. This can happen to me while I’m writing (or "in the zone" as I call it) or while I'm watching a movie, or reading a book. And oftentimes, I simply switch from reality and immerse myself in this particular world because this is where I like to be best of all. In this world, I can be anybody, and I can interact with any character. This is the world where I’m the superhero and save the day; or I have a ton of younger men as lovers; or a young version of David Bowie and I are an item and we compose and perform music, among other things; or I solve all sorts of crimes and bring the bad guys to justice. In this world, I’m invincible, fit and healthy, and a gorgeous femme fatale; and the list goes on.
So whether you’re a creative type, or you have a love of films and books, or you can simply daydream at will—you, too, live between three worlds. The question is: Which world do you mostly want to live in?
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 The power of friendship is important at any age. Friendship can transcend the sometimes conditional love of families and relationships. True friendship doesn't judge; true friendship doesn't place conditions on people--your friends will love you as you are; true friendships encourage you to grow and be the best you can be; true friendship is there when your whole life falls apart and you need someone to help you pick up the pieces. No matter how old one is, friends will be with us from the moment we start interacting with the world, and if we're lucky our friends will walk alongside of us through life's bumpy journey, and until death. This is more than we can expect from some families and most romantic relationships. So we established that friendship is extremely important in one's life--but have you ever asked yourself when friendship seems to become the most important of all? For me, and millions of people the world over, friendship is most important when we reach middle age and start sliding very quickly toward old age. For women, this is doubly important--women being the nurturing creatures they are (most of them, anyway); they bring special love to those whom they love whether it be a family member, a spouse or a friend. But why is middle-age friendship so important? Well, let's take the case of the average female at age 50. Unless she's extremely lucky, she's probably been divorced at least twice, perhaps dumped for a younger model. Her work/career is no longer as important besides which, she's probably getting passed over for promotion by younger work colleagues and more satisfying work is difficult to find due to ageism in the workplace. If she's had children, she's possibly an empty nester by now; and if she's divorced, her middled-aged ex is involved with a chick half his age and driving the proverbial Porsche. On top of this, the average 50-something female is going through menopause, and all those fluctuating hormones do not help at all! She's suddenly flushing every few minutes, she gets ectopic heartbeats, her moods suddenly feel like they're on a pendulum, anxiety might hit too, and she experiences panic attacks or she simply ends up getting depressed. Then, if one or both of her parents are alive, she might end up having to care for them as they are ill and need someone around. This woman is dividing herself in 100 different directions in the treadmill of middle age, only to be spat out at the other end (if she survives) feeling lonely, without a support system, her dreams for life as yet unrealised, and she's stuck in a nightmare of a life, especially if she's also trying to deal with her own health problems. And let's not even go to her poor looks, some of which might include: frumpy, faded, overweight, grey hair overnight, wrinkles, cellulite, a pot belly and/or that dreaded middle age tyre around the middle! Okay, so I think by now you'll agree with me that friendship's quite important, especially at this time of life, when we think living through another day is torture. Oh, and let's not forget we've also become invisible to the world, especially to men. Is the picture getting darker and darker by the minute? But don't despair. Life has a way of making things possible if only we remain open-minded and maintain our resilience. Enter "The Power of Three".  You might ask: "Who are these women?" Well, they're women like you and me, only they got together and became a force to be reckoned with. "Yeah, right," you say. "I bet it's just a movie!" And yes, you're right, it is a movie, but it's a movie that's based on the lives of three amazing, true-life, 50-something women who decided to make things happen. So read on! Ann Cameron, the writer of the Indie film "The Power of Three" read one of my blogs about Baby Boomers and the challenges faced particularly by women, and she contacted me to share her experience in this time of her life. Have a look at this short video regarding the film and the real women behind the film.  Ann Cameron - Writer & Filmmaker Ann shared this press release with me to further drive the point of what the three friends were trying to achieve: We generally think of film-makers as big budget studios or even faceless business organisations. Just coming together to make a film seems so difficult...and so expensive in today’s climate that it’s easier to just confine ideas like that to a pipe dream. But that’s not what happened to Yvonne Deutschman , Thereza Snyman and Ann Cameron. Ann and Yvonne met at University in Canada. 30 years later (and having never seen each other during that time), Yvonne invited Ann to London. Ann was at a bleak point in her life - her mother was ill (she died later that year), her legal work was boring. In short, there was no fun. One evening, while bitching about life in general, Ann, Yvonne and their friend, Thereza, were bemoaning how women were portrayed on film. Chick flick movies were so disappointing: it was obvious that even the ones written by women (few and far between) showed the influence of male producers. Women could have fun… but not too much fun. They fantasised about a chick flick that breaks all the rules. Women working together instead of backstabbing each other. No script line that starts with "but I saw him FIRST". No singing into household appliances and definitely no "let's go shopping” sequences. And breaking the biggest rule of them all - having women over age 50 driving the action! Using Ann’s writing expertise, Yvonne’s knowledge of the film industry and Thereza’s business acumen, they went out and found their three leads: British actress Toyah Willcox, South African Brümilda Van Rensburg and Canadian, Robin Craig. Veteran performers Shirley Anne Field, Margaret Nolan, Richard Bremmer and Hilton McRae joined the cast. Each woman invested £5,000 and found others to do the same until they had £50,000 – enough to do the shoot. Everyone came on board as a profit share and they were in business. The film Michelle (Toyah Wilcox), once a promising film director, now finds her career slowly sliding backwards. Olivia (Brümilda van Rensburg), once a strong and elegant activist who makes a great marriage, now lives in the shadows of the same failed marriage that is stopping her moving forward. Lizzie (Robin Craig) has morphed from wild child into a slobby, middle-aged lawyer with nothing but her work to keep her going. Events are set into motion when Michelle turns 50 and she is reunited with her two oldest University friends at her party. At first everyone is keen to keep up appearances and live up to their previous glory days...but inevitably the truth comes out ...and there’s no going back...only forward, and together the three women help each other achieve the dreams they had almost given up on. The Power of Three is for anyone who has ever felt stuck or stalled. It’s a heart-warming reminder that sometimes you just need help to make something happen. The Power of Three was released on 10th November 2011 with a DVD release that followed in January 2012. If you wish to find out more about the film, visit this site. So where are the real life friends now? The three friends are planning another film; this one is about turning 60! Meanwhile, The Power of Three was invited to major film festivals in the U.S. and Canada: the Women's International Film Festival (Miami), the Brooklyn Girls Film Festival (New York) and the Toronto Indie Film Festival. It also secured a distributor in South Africa where the film has been shown on TV and is selling briskly. Ann Cameron reports: The real life story for the three filmmakers is also heartening. England has now become my second home-- I just returned from a visit with Thereza Snyman. I went there in 2003 to visit Yvonne.. after not seeing her for 30 years. My mother was very ill and would die on Christmas Eve of that year. I was trying to look after my parents, look after my aunt and uncle, and working non-stop. My cousin Bill asked me what I was doing and I rattled off a litany of obligations and duties. He looked at me and said: "No, Ann. I meant what are you doing for fun?" I had no answer and it was this conversation that propelled me to visit London. It changed my life for the better. Our director Yvonne has gone on to more projects focusing on her first love, the Caribbean. She recently completed a documentary about life in the 50s and 60s for Caribbean immigrants in the UK. http://www.hangingout.org.uk/film_project.htm Thereza has found her dream job as head of IT at a London law firm. As for me, although I'm still struggling with health problems stemming from an accident where I was hit by a car in 2012 plus the aftermath of my father's death, I am rejuvenated every time I visit my friends in London.  Heart-warming, funny (sometimes wacky), but mostly depicting the real life issues of ageism, growing older, and the power of friendship, this film is a must-see for anyone at any age. After all, when things start happening, and the friends become a force to be reckoned with, the most beautiful thing we see is that people of all ages, and both genders, come together to work on a great project for the greater good. Inspiring and empowering: that's The Power of Three!
 Perhaps, it is just like the author of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy states... "If the answer is 42, then what is the real question to the mystery of life in this universe?" Frankly, I’ve just about given up on this one.  For years, I’ve been into the works of "Abraham" and Esther Hicks, Louise Hay, Bob Proctor, Wayne Dwyer, Susan Jeffers, and a whole lot more. I've also explored the philosophy of Buddhism and Hinduism; but to this day, I've yet to find a satisfactory answer, especially when it comes to karma and the law of attraction. For instance, if we're meant to work off karma from a previous life, how useless is that when we don't remember what we did in a previous life in the first place? So how can we learn from what we did in another life? Shouldn't we be learning (and paying) from what we did in this life? This explains why many evil or bad people get away with murder--basically all sorts of crimes, betrayal, hurting others' feelings, and so on--and the unnerving part is that many of them go on to flourish, live long lives in good health, have money, and even find happiness; while some poor souls who try to do right in this life are beset with illness, poverty, abuse, or whatever calamity life throws their way. So I've given up on the notion of karma--unless it's in this life and you pay for it in the same lifetime.  As for the law of attraction--I've lost faith in this, too. I mean, if you are in this life to work off negative karma (and this is why things are falling apart around you according to the karma gurus), then all the law of attraction in the universe isn't going to fix it. No amount of positive thinking is going to "burn off" this so-called negative karma if you're meant to really work it off. One concept seems to contradict the other! So which one, if any, is right? I've tried for years to think positive; I’ve applied the advice given by Abraham/Esther Hicks, Louise Hay, Bob Proctor, and all the others. Unfortunately, nothing has worked out right for me. I mean, none of the things I've wanted--and I wasn't asking for millions either--just things like health and being able to earn a modest living while doing what I love (my writing). These things still remain dreams for me. Meanwhile, I look at ex-partners, ex-friends and ex-bosses who’ve turned out to be real users and abusers. Now, I know for a fact that some of these people are thriving. Makes you wonder, right?  The only thing I've found to be valuable in my exploration of all these issues is what the Buddha said: "Don't believe anything anyone tells you, even if I tell you, unless it makes perfect sense within your heart and soul." Or words to that effect. In any case, I have found this to be the most sensible thing of all that any spiritual teacher could have taught me. I guess I will always have a problem with karma--and if it really does exist, then it sucks. I think justice should be served when someone hurts another person--and not ten lives from now. I tried to get all spiritual and fluffy, but in the light of pain, betrayal, and other hurtful things (plus all the awful things that happen to people, animals, and mother nature), it's very difficult to remain light in spirit. As for reincarnation--I hope this doesn't exist either, because there is absolutely no way I'm coming back unless it's as a cherished kitty to a loving family!  You will have to pardon my cynicism, but after some of the things I've been through and seen in this world of ours, I need a better answer than karma or the law of attraction. I find people use these concepts too lightly in order to explain why things happen. Sometimes, it's just a convenient cop out for society at large.
You see someone who is homeless or disabled, and you dismiss it as "Oh, it's just karma they're paying off." So this makes it easy to walk away from the helpless millions who are sick, starving, living in war-torn nations, victims of crime, abuse, etc, etc. It's all so "permissible" when you think it's their karma, or that they're attracting this into their lives through the law of attraction. Well, I'm more of an "eye for an eye" kind of person even though I don't believe in traditional religion. But it's a bit like being in the mafia. You hurt me or my family, and I'll get you back with the proverbial horse's head, among other things—of course, I’ll make sure the horse is only a prop as I couldn’t kill an animal. Blame it on my Italian heritage, but until I find another answer, which at the moment keeps eluding me, I will always wish for revenge (or poetic justice) for the evil doers. You know what they say, what goes around, comes around--yes, but when? And why did it come to those of us who are trying to do the right thing? Well, as for why bad things happen to good people, I still can’t explain this one. So if I cannot have justice, I'll have to stick to the best answer possible for the moment: "42". |
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