How much can a koala bear...

Overwhelmed koala

It has been some years since I've written this blog post, which still seems to stand the test of time. New statistical information about the oversupply of men in some countries, however, has come to light. Err ... yes, you read it correctly, ladies; it's not a typo, and I did write "OVERSUPPLY". But more on this later; in the meantime, enjoy the following blog post.

We have an expression in Australia that we sometimes use when we're feeling rather overwhelmed; and when I finished reading a certain article about the chances of women finding men after a certain age, I was left trembling with apprehension. As I clutched the newspaper to my breast and shakily boarded the train on the way home from an appointment the other day, I said to myself: "How much can a koala bear?"

Once on the train, I re-read the by-now-crumpled-paper so I could take things in once more, this time sitting down. A flashback to the movie "Sleepless in Seattle" brought back the comment made to the Meg Ryan character that "A woman has a much higher chance of being killed in a terrorist attack than getting married after the age of forty."

Well, I have news for you, sisters--the age has now dropped dramatically since they filmed that movie. This explains my downing a Valium when I arrived home and making myself a huge bowl of pasta with pesto (my favourite comfort food) so I could get over the shock of what I had learned.

The following comes from a regular column in the mX newspaper (courtesy of City Rail), written by Emma Merkas. WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!

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Never mind being past 40 years of age (plus the growing number of global terrorist attacks these days). Bloody hell! They are now saying if we don't land a man by age 29 we're done for! So what are the chances for us older chicks? As we fondly say in Australia: "Buckleys and none". This is how much of a chance we have of landing a man past the age of 29, 30, 35, 40, 45, and so on (I won't even go into the 50s). Therefore, our mission is not just impossible; it's "frigging IMPOSSIBLE!"

Hence, with heartfelt sympathy and condolences to my older, wiser, and sometimes dumped sisters out there, bring on the terrorists! In fact, I think we have a much better chance of capturing a whole terrorist organisation and bringing them to justice, while winning millions on Lotto three times in the space of a week; and for me, also having George Clooney and Clint Eastwood entering into a bidding war for the film option to one of my novels, than landing a man who is decent, faithful, loving, and considerate. Oh, fudge! Forget the last bit and simply make it ANY man.

Okay, I'm off to find a mining town now, where women are few and men are desperate, or if all else fails I can always move overseas and try my luck over there.

AND NOW WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... The article on the OVERSUPPLY of men, courtesy of the Washington Post.

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Too many men? Knowing our luck they're also after 29-year-old females :(