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AUTHOR SYLVIA MASSARA

How much can a koala bear...

2/8/2019

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PictureOverwhelmed koala
It has been some years since I've written this blog post, which still seems to stand the test of time. New statistical information about the oversupply of men in some countries, however, has come to light. Err ... yes, you read it correctly, ladies; it's not a typo, and I did write "OVERSUPPLY". But more on this later; in the meantime, enjoy the following blog post.

We have an expression in Australia that we sometimes use when we're feeling rather overwhelmed; and when I finished reading a certain article about the chances of women finding men after a certain age, I was left trembling with apprehension. As I clutched the newspaper to my breast and shakily boarded the train on the way home from an appointment the other day, I said to myself: "How much can a koala bear?"

Once on the train, I re-read the by-now-crumpled-paper so I could take things in once more, this time sitting down. A flashback to the movie "Sleepless in Seattle" brought back the comment made to the Meg Ryan character that "A woman has a much higher chance of being killed in a terrorist attack than getting married after the age of forty."

Well, I have news for you, sisters--the age has now dropped dramatically since they filmed that movie. This explains my downing a Valium when I arrived home and making myself a huge bowl of pasta with pesto (my favourite comfort food) so I could get over the shock of what I had learned.

The following comes from a regular column in the mX newspaper (courtesy of City Rail), written by Emma Merkas. WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!


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Never mind being past 40 years of age (plus the growing number of global terrorist attacks these days). Bloody hell! They are now saying if we don't land a man by age 29 we're done for! So what are the chances for us older chicks? As we fondly say in Australia: "Buckleys and none". This is how much of a chance we have of landing a man past the age of 29, 30, 35, 40, 45, and so on (I won't even go into the 50s). Therefore, our mission is not just impossible; it's "frigging IMPOSSIBLE!"

Hence, with heartfelt sympathy and condolences to my older, wiser, and sometimes dumped sisters out there, bring on the terrorists! In fact, I think we have a much better chance of capturing a whole terrorist organisation and bringing them to justice, while winning millions on Lotto three times in the space of a week; and for me, also having George Clooney and Clint Eastwood entering into a bidding war for the film option to one of my novels, than landing a man who is decent, faithful, loving, and considerate. Oh, fudge! Forget the last bit and simply make it ANY man.

Okay, I'm off to find a mining town now, where women are few and men are desperate, or if all else fails I can always move overseas and try my luck over there.

AND NOW WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... The article on the OVERSUPPLY of men, courtesy of the Washington Post.


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Too many men? Knowing our luck they're also after 29-year-old females :(
10 Comments
Nicole Chardenet link
6/9/2012 18:06:02

I think this is just a lot of hysterics. It's also not looking at the bigger picture. There are *always* single men at any age but a lot of them aren't worth your time. Too many problems, too immature, too much farting around, too few social skills. And, a man's social skills seem to *drop* with age rather than improve. As many women get married who do because they're desperate, afraid of being alone, want to be like all their friends. I mean, there's a reason why the divorce rate hovers at 50% in most Western countries, right? It's because as many people are marrying wrong as marrying right, and of the ones who married, a good chunk of them probably aren't all that happy but they're sticking it out because who wants to go back to the Match.com days?

We have single men in Toronto, but mostly freaks & men of a certain famously misogynist culture that no intelligent woman would bother with. I'd rather be alone than with a freak or a misogynist. There's no shame in it. In fact, if *more* women embraced singledom rather than treating it as some personal failure, and didn't settle for losers, maybe men would finally get their s**t together. I suspect a big reason why you have this big disconnect between women who want to settle down and men who don't is because women grow up and a lot of men never do. Believe me, I can get married still if I lower my standards. A lot.

Ain't willin'. Happy wanking, boys ;)

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Sylvia Massara link
6/10/2012 02:18:57

Nicole, I tend to agree with all that you say; what you left out is also the fact that if all those women who are not in the "sisterhood" stopped taking part in cheating with other sisters' husbands, the world would be a better place, and marriages might have a chance of lasting a lot longer as the two people in the marriage make time to work out their differences. Sadly, most men are easily led to take the easy way out.

These days, it seems that wives are like take-out food (or take-away, as we say over here). We don't always go to McDonalds as we get sick of the food there and so next time we get a pizza, and the next some Chinese, etc. The same goes for the wives--their husbands don't like something about their wives; they simply discard them and move onto the next one.

The other fact I've observed is that as men get older, their women get younger. I cannot tell you the hundreds and thousands of stories I've heard of men dumping their wives for youger women; and not all the men are middle-aged either.

I don't know about Toronto, but it sounds a bit like South Australia, where we have serial killers and vampires only, but the rest of Australia is fairly reasonable (well, almost)! One thing is for sure, the drabble you find on internet dating sites these days is horrendous. Eight years ago, I used to do internet dating and I met some really interesting, professional men with an education, career, etc, etc, who were genuinely interested in exploring the possibility of a relationship; nowadays, they just want sex even before you have the first cup of coffee with them! It's sad. But internet dating made sex so easy to get that men figure why get into a relationship?

I'd have to say that although the article is rather limited geographically, it represents most large cities in Australia--women have always outnumbered men in Australia. However, the mining towns are different and they may be our last hope :-)

I'm thinking of starting a new business: Females-only tours to Australia's mining towns. LOL. I think I'd probably make a "motza"! ('motza' meaning a huge amount). Hehehehe.

Of course if all else fails, it's better to be alone rather than be stuck with bad rubbish. In fact, it's always been my fantasy to be bitten by a vampire so I might just take off for Adelaide, in South Australia, and try my luck! :-)

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Nicole Chardenet link
6/10/2012 03:17:10

I didn't leave *anything* out; when I dinged women for settling, that automatically includes women who chase after other women's men. The man who goes for it is a whore, same as her.

And who cares if men go after younger women? They can *have* them. Remember what I said about settling?

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Sylvia Massara link
6/10/2012 05:30:01

Thank you for clarifying this, Nicole. Yes, both the man and the woman are "whores" when they cheat on their spouse.

Regarding men who go for younger women, I still have an issue with that. Most men our age go for younger women so that won't leave much for those of us who might be looking to settle. Society applauds the man who parades a younger woman on his arm. Now, if we did the same and went out with younger men, we'd be labelled for sure. Society doesn't seem to like an older woman going out with a younger man (female celebs get bagged for this all the time; but men don't. See my earlier post on "The trouble with older men"); and even if they did, where does this leave us? Younger men are in it for sex with a more experienced, older woman; but what can they give us in return? NOTHING! Not unless they can provide us with financial security, which I doubt very much. And eventually, they will also grow older and then they'll dump us for a younger woman!

Younger women with older men, on the other hand, get the financial security. I mean, let's face it, why would a younger woman go with an older guy, right? In return, the older man gets to shag a younger woman. This works out very well, and then the younger woman inherits when the old codger drops off the twig :-0

You know what? I think we're on a different planet after age 40! We just don't seem to fit in any of the above categories. In fact, we're so damn unique that there are NO MEN at all for us. At least, not on this planet.

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Carol E Wyer link
6/10/2012 09:22:17

If you lived here I think your chances are pretty slim after the age of nineteen. I checked out the local town - bad news! Further research though has produced positive results. If you really really want a man there are lots of unmarried farmers in my area. Now, I can't vouch for the fact that they might all be terrified of women or that you might find yourself getting up at 3am every morning to milk the cows, but there are unmarried men here.
On an even brighter note a friend of mine wo is 51 and has been divorced for ten years held a hen party on Friday night. She has finally found Mr Right. She didn't give up, kept her eyes open and had a positive attitude.
My other friend (ewho lives in Australia) tried dating agencies. Fifteen meetings later and she is going out with a very nice guy. Not sure where that'll go though.
So, either move to rural Staffordshire and grab a red-faced farmer, get on-line (!) or just keep smiling.
After a night with a bad-tempered Mr Grumpy the single life appeals somehow :)

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Sylvia Massara link
6/10/2012 11:31:22

Carol, you make me laugh :-) The last thing I need is to get up at 3am to milk a cow. Hehehehe. However, Nicole from Canada might find this appealing; she says all the guys in Toronto are totally NOT into women. So I'm not sure what is happening over there, but she might like a red-faced farmer.

Meanwhile, internet dating is totally out. The guys on internet dating are only after one thing, and half of them are married and hoping to get a bit on the side! The other half are Nigerian scammers.

I hope your friend who is about to get married has truly found Mr Right. I no longer believe in Mr Right, but I know a lot of Misters Wrong! LOL

I know the grass always seems greener on the other side; if we're married, we wish the single life; and if we're single we wish we were married or with someone. I think this time round, after all the crap I've been through with the evil ex, I will stay loose. My attitude now is more selfish: I'm number 1, and as such I will look after me. I will not allow any man to come between me and my new-found happiness. The only man that's allowed to come into my life right now is any film producer or director who wants to make one of my novels into a movie--and this could also be a woman :-)

Reply
Nicole Chardenet link
6/10/2012 18:11:40

Sylvia, there is NOTHING wrong with going out with younger men. For one thing, society has begun to warm up to it with TV shows like Cougartown. Cher & Elizabeth Taylor have both *famously* gone for young men for *decades*, and neither one gave a rat's patootie what "society" thought. Personally, I'm all in favour of shocking anyone who's still naive enough to be shocked by something so silly ;) My point is, there are ALWAYS very few men who are really and truly worth settling down with; and that's even when we're younger, because half the folks who get married get divorced anyway. I'm sure men aren't the *only* reason why; plenty of marriages fail because of faulty women too, but really, you've been in two marriages that failed, I've been in a common-law that failed, and we can both look back on them with 20/20 hindsight and say hey, we picked losers, our bad. I'm surprised you'd even *want* to settle down again; most of my divorced friends say they'll never marry again. Explain to me what, exactly, I'm missing?

Look, if you're gonna have sexual relationships, better with hot young dudes rather than falling-apart middle-aged men. If one comes along who's *not* falling apart and has his s**t together, groovy...if not, well hey, shocking "decent" society is just icing on the cake. Wear that man proudly on your arm and with a smug look on your face ;) Guaranteed the dirtiest looks you'll get are from middle-aged men ;)

Reply
Sylvia Massara link
6/11/2012 02:11:25

Nicole, I never said there is anything wrong with younger men; all I'm saying is that society tends to look down upon a woman who goes with younger men. If you're a celeb you tend to get away with it more than the average woman. Perhaps it's the money and the status, who knows, but even they sometimes get a hard time from people.

As for me, all my significant relationships have been with younger men bar one, and yet it still didn't work out. My exes were younger men but not by many years, so perhaps this explains it. Mind you, one of them was 12 years younger than me, and that didn't work out either.

I don't know why you are surprised that I would like to settle down again. I don't want to settle down right now, but I would love to meet that person who could be my equal, someone to grow old with, someone who cherishes me, someone who will have the qualities of those few elusive men out there--a life's companion. I know they are out there like rough diamonds; I just haven't met one yet. But if I did, I would probably settle. I certainly won't be settling for bad rubbish, that's for sure.

My evil ex displayed the qualities of what I was looking for when I first met him, and I was taken in--of course it's too bad he turned out to be a sick SOB with a psycho mentality :-) So I was tricked into the whole thing. It's interesting that psycho/sociopaths can often beat the poly test, so of course with their charm and outward appearance of chivalry they can con women easily; hence my error in judgement.

The other day, I was walking down the street and I saw an old couple holding hands as they walked. They looked so sweet, and I thought this is what I want: someone to grow old with, someone to share things with; someone special. There is nothing wrong with this.

Please don't miss the point I am trying to make. No, I won't settle if I cannot find that someone special; and if that is my destiny, to be alone, then so be it. But if I do find that someone special, then I might risk it again. If we don't risk, we don't find out, do we? I risked with the last ex but it blew up in my face; however, this might not be the case next time.

Lastly, the article from the newspaper simply points to the fact that there is a large shortage of men in Australia (which happens to be true). In the last couple of decades, it has gotten worse too! So I had to ask how in hell can we beat those odds when women seem to miss their chance past a certain age? And this age seems to be getting younger and younger. It seems in Australia it's around 29 (if one believes the article); Carol Wyer, in her reply to this post, said in the UK it's 19! What a shocker that is.

Therefore, I might be heading off to the mines, while others will head off to UK farms, and yet others will remain in Toronto with men who are not real men; and if all else fails, I'm off to South Australia to find myself a real life vampire :-)

Reply
Nicole Chardenet link
2/19/2019 09:00:53

Re-reading this seven years later, I *STILL* think it's a lot of hysterics!

Reply
Sylvia Massara link
2/19/2019 10:04:03

Not so, Nicole. I've read a number of articles over the years written by reliable sources on the shortage of women; even Australia's latest census showed there are more women than men. I believe it's the same in the US, UK and other Western nations. In any case, we can't help it if we're the stronger sex in terms of outliving and outsmarting the weaker, less intelligent male of the species, right? ;)

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